As You Like IT
by E arth. K id. T ree. H ugger
Summary: Twoshot, possible Threeshot. A school trip to see Shakespeare's As You Like It. But there's a twist. They're going with Foxwood. Lots of HORRRNSSSS, PANTS, and IT. Whatever IT is. Could be anything. Set after SITNOP, D
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is just an idea I got when I went to see Shakespeare's As You Like It.**_

_**I hope you like it, it's vair Gee/Dave orientated of course!**_

**Monday 19 September**

**7.00 AM (Yes – I'm up EARLYYYY!)**

I can't believe Masimo is in his huffmobile.

I mean, I only twisted with Dave the Laugh.

All yesterday I sat by the phone, but no.

No phone calls.

At all.

Not even from the Ace Gang, to see if I was alright.

Honestly.

I also half expected Dave to call me, but he didn't.

I plan to confront him this arvie.

But honestly, I swear I am the only person in this town selfless enough to think about ME.

**At school **

**7.30**

You wonder why I am up so early.

Well, I am avoiding Jazzy Spazzy cos she didn't call me yesterday.

I'm at school even before the teachers!

Oh God.

That is S – A – D.

But it's the lengths I've been forced to take.

**30 seconds later**

God it's so BORING here.

There's NOTHING to do.

…

"KittyKat!"

Oh God, I'm hearing Dave the Laugh's voice.

More to the point, WHY am I hearing Dave the Laugh's voice?

I'm hallucinating, that's the answer.

But why am I hallucinating hearing HIM?

Shouldn't I be hallucinating about Masimo, as Masimo is my one and only.

Who is currently in the Huffmobile and may or may not have dumped me.

"KittyKat!"

Oh God, there it is AGAIN!

Jeez.

"Sex Kitty! Gee! Georgia! KittyKat!"

"Big G – why are you sending Dave's voice into my brain?! It's freaking me out!"

"Gee – I really am here…"

"Big G – that's enough. I'm turning Buddhist!"

I closed my eyes for a second, and when I opened them, Dave the Laugh was standing in front of me.

I was momentarily dazed, because as I've said before, he has vair groovy eyes.

And vair long eyelashes.

I swear, you could sweep the floor with them they're that long.

"Gee, what is it? Do I have peanut butter on my cheek or something? Why are you looking at me like that… most girls are eyeing me up when they stare like that, but we're just matey-type fandangos aren't we Gee?"

I spoke the first thing that came into my head. "I was eyeing you up."

Stupid Gee, stupid!!!!

"I mean," I hastily corrected myself, "I love your eyelashes. I'm jealous."

Dave opened his mouth to say something, but before he said anything, I jumped in quickly.

Agh!

You people!

I mean I spoke quickly.

Why didn't I say that, you ask me?!

Oh SHUT UP and just read the story.

"Why are you here Dave?"

"On this planet? Well, according to my mutti, my soul has had many incarnations and this incarnation is to bring laughs to the world."

"No," I sighed, exhasperated. "Here. My school. Which, in case you didn't know, is a school for girls. And you go to a school for boys. Unless of course you are an Ace Gang member who is pranking me, you DON'T GO HERE."

"Well on Friday we were told to come here this morning. I dunno why."

Dave sat down next to me.

Very close next to me, may I add.

I suddenly felt vair nervous.

"Uhmm, so, what do you think it will, erm, erm, be for… or something?" I Ellen-ed.

Dave slid his arm around my waist, which made my breathing speed up A LOT.

He put his head close to mine, and whispered, "Stop Ellen-ing," he whispered and kissed my cheek.

Is that it?

I used to get proper snogs with Dave, but ever since I met Masimo I've only been getting a number 3 at the most.

And now all I get is a kiss on the _cheek_?

Good grief!

**8.15**

The teachers have arrived now.

Sadist freaks.

Dave and I went and sat where the Bummer's used to hang out before they got expelled, cos no-one ever goes there, and I wanted to avoid Jazzy for as long as possible.

I sat down and pulled a piece of grass up from the ground.

I twiddled it around in my fingers and looked down.

"Hey," Dave said, "Stop."

And he put his hands over mine, holding them.

I dropped the grass, but somehow he didn't let go.

I looked at him. "Why didn't you, or anyone else for that matter, call me?"

Dave shrugged. "I dunno. Thought you might be mad at me or something. It was kinda my fault."

"No!" I said, shocked. "Of course it wasn't your fault! Masimo overreacted. You and me are just mates, hey."

"Yeah," he said, "Mates."

He dropped my hand.

And when I say he dropped my hand I do not mean to say that he physically dropped it, he merely let go of it.

Is that the same thing?

Oh for God's sake, SHUT IT.

You're already annoying me.

"So," I said, attempting to lighten the mood, "how's Emma?"

"Dumped her," Dave said.

Okay, failed plan.

Actually that put even more of a downer on the whole situation.

"Um, so, why'd you dump her?"

Dave shrugged. "I like someone else."

Hey!

How could he?

Dave just goes through girlfriends like I go through lipglosses.

I'm glad I said no to going out with him at the fish party.

I would have been dumped within a week.

"Who?"

"The Queen. I've liked her for a long time."

He said he liked the Queen at the camping fiasco.

But who is she?

She'd better be good enough for him!

Actually no-one is good enough for him.

Except maybe me.

But I don't like Dave the Laugh that way.

Nope.

At all.

Uh-uh.

Suddenly, Dave leaned over and snogged me.

It was just a number four (kiss lasting over three minutes), but somehow that made me jelloid.

Which it shouldn't, as it's Dave.

But my hands decided that they would think for themselves and they reached over and picked up Dave's.

He squeezed my fingers.

But was it a matey way, as in we were just having a matey snog, or was it a 'I-really-like-like-and-possibly-lurve-you' way?

When he did pull back, I said, "Dave, if you like someone else, why are you snogging me?"

"You just don't get it, Gee."

I was just about to ask him what he meant when Jazzy Spazzy came into sight.

Great.

"You two, Hawkeye is looking for you – it's nine o'clock. She thinks that you are number-10ing back here so I advise you get in her qui –"

I realised she was now looking at my hands, which were holding Dave's, and I promptly dropped his hand (I explained above – leave it!).

**In assembly**

I went to sit next to Rosie and Dave stood with all of the Foxwood lads, as there weren't enough chairs.

Everybody was whispering because no-one knew why the boys were here.

"QUIET!" Slim bellowed.

Suddenly all was quiet.

"Now, because it is making it harder to speak I will tell the Year Elevens what they are doing so that they can leave and give us room. So, Year Eleven. You girls are going to Stratford upon Avon to see the Royal Shakespeare Company's production of As You Like It. The Foxwood boys are going also. The bus is waiting outside. Now LEAVE!"

_**A/N: So what did you think? I know this chapter wasn't very laughy but the next will be. Trust me. I have lots planned. Lol.**_

_**Well, review!**_


	2. We Are Two Children

**_A/N: Hey! How're you going? Here's the second chapter of the school trip twoshot/possible threeshot (I'll let you know at the end of the chapter when I know myself, 'kay?). So yeah… Oh – and Hornmeister Lover and I are doing a joint story in our joint account and the story is called Sex Kitty, I Luuuurve You! And it will have fast updates. And I mean fast. :P_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Gee Nicks, I don't own any Billy Shakespeare plays and I don't own the RSC_**

_"QUIET!" Slim bellowed._

_Suddenly all was quiet._

_"Now, because it is making it harder to speak I will tell the Year Elevens what they are doing so that they can leave and give us room. So, Year Eleven. You girls are going to Stratford upon Avon to see the Royal Shakespeare Company's production of As You Like It. The Foxwood boys are going also. The bus is waiting outside. Now LEAVE!"_

Oh, all right, all right, Slim, we're going.

God, she's ridiculous, wobbling all over the damn place.

Does she have no pridenosity.

**Lining up for the bus**

I'm near the front of the line, because I want to sit at the back.

Which, for all you fules out there, is the furthest away from the teachers, because they lurve sitting at the front.

**10 seconds later**

Dave is barging through the queue, ignoring peoples' protests.

He is so not barging past me.

He will not beat me to the back.

**1 second later**

Nope, he's stopped next to me.

"Alright?" he asked brightly, grinning his laughy grin.

I just looked at him.

How the hell can he change so quickly from unlaughy to laughy?

I just don't get it.

**30 seconds later**

They're letting us on the bus.

It's a mad rush to the back; even P. Green is rushing.

And Melanie, which is not safe with nungas her size.

They'll knock someone out one day – they're bigger than mine, and mine are HUGE.

Oh, that reminds me, I still haven't begun my Convince M and V to Pay for Plastic Surgery plan yet.

I don't actually have a plan yet, but that's a small technical detail.

**30 seconds later**

In all my philosophical thinking, everyone except Dave and me are on the bus.

I don't know why Dave isn't on the bus, but he isn't.

He's looking at me freakishly.

Stop it, you loon!

"Gee, get on the bus," Dave said, and pulled me up the steps behind him.

But the bus was FULL.

Gott in Himmel.

How the hell am I meant to get to the school trip if the bus is full?

Miss Wilson said, "Georgia, Dave, you two will have to go in the mini bus with Mr. Atwood driving as this bus is full. Go on."

Oh sacre bleu!

I have to put up with Elvis.

Plus I'll be all on my own with Dave.

Well – not alone completely, because Elvis will be there.

But you know what I mean.

"Come on, Kitty," Dave said dragging me – _again – _to the minibus.

What is with all of this dragging?

**On the mini bus **

Elvis is looking sehr unimpressed with having to drive the two of us to Stratford.

He's giving me the evils actually.

Dave and me are going to the back because that's where it's marginally safe.

I said marginally, not completely safe.

**Sometime later**

Is Elvis trying to kill us?

Yes.

He is.

It's obvious.

Dave doesn't seem to care much.

Possible because the bus is swerving so much Dave gets to pretend it's the force of the bus making him fall face first into my nungas.

I know better, though.

Mainly because if it was the bus, he wouldn't have time to turn his face so that his face would land on my nungas.

"Dave. Stop molesting my nungas. You're as bad as Mark Big Gob."

Dave looked offended in a jokey way.

"What? No. Not Mark Big Gob. You know that it's my hormones and I can't help it."

"Dave, you know that it's because you are basically a rudey dudey person."

"Finally! Someone who understands me! Hallelujah!"

Haha Dave is so laughy.

I love him.

In a matey way of course.

"Dave, I love you – in a matey way, of course."

Dave's smiled a majorly big smile and said, "Just keep telling yourself that, Sex Kitty, and for the record, I love you too."

Aaww!

Dave lurves me.

Wait – I hope he means in a matey way.

"Dave, I hope you mean in a matey way."

He said, "If to snog is the answer, what is the question?" and then he snogged me.

Which really didn't answer my question at all, but ah well.

It was a tres good snog.

It was sehr full-frontal, and a bit jelloid-knickers, to be honest.

**At Stratford upon Avon**

We're the first here due to Elvis' mad driving.

"Right, you two. Wait here for the others. I'm off," Elvis said, got back into his minivan and roared off at about 100 miles an hour.

"So, Gee, what do you say we do now, waiting for the others?"

"I honestly don't know. How about, um…"

"Oh my God! Why don't we show how good at acting we are and try and get jobs here? Then we won't have to go to school!"

That's a tres tres good idea – it could be my other job as well as a backing dancer!

Marvy.

**Half an hour later**

My dream is crushed.

Apparently, we are not Royal Shakespeare Company material,

Apparently, we are two children (yes, they called us CHILDREN!) who do not know how to act and are just silly.

I told them about my brillopads performances as Merclurkio and Macduff, but they said that the fact I got Mercurio's name wrong shows that I am not what they're looking for.

Well.

That's nice, isn't it?

**1 minute later**

Oh, here come the others.

Oh no.

This can't be good.

**_A/N: What'd you think? Oh, it's going to be a threeshot. And yes – I finally updated!_**

**_Oh, and I should tell you guys about the Pants Awards. Go read the info about it. If you do, Dave will send you a virtual snog. So go. But only after you've reviewed this._**


End file.
